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“I’d turn gay for you”

16 June 2011

One of the men on staff at the new cafe we opened today is gay, and he and I have been joking about becoming a couple. I noticed just how deeply ingrained our sexualities must be, because today, he joked that he would turn lesbian for me, and I replied with, “I’d turn gay for you!” (Meaning I’d become a gay man.)

Ten minutes later, it dawned on me that to us, that was the automatic solution for a lesbian and a gay man to be together–one of them would become the opposite sex, remaining homosexual. It would probably occur to most people that if we were truly together, it would make us both straight. Yet to us, that thought didn’t cross our minds! We identify so strongly with our “alternative” sexuality that we assumed we’d keep that alignment even while being with someone of the opposite gender.

This is all theoretical, mind you. Neither of us really want to be with each other, we are just very good friends (as good as you can get for only knowing each other one week!) It just really struck me how we didn’t adjust our thinking when it came to what would ultimately be a straight relationship.

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